Overcoming Relationship OCD: A Personal Guide

Introduction

If you're struggling with Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), you know how challenging it can be. ROCD involves intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviours related to your romantic relationships. Let's explore ROCD together and find effective ways to manage and overcome it.

Understanding Relationship OCD

What is ROCD?

ROCD is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder characterised by persistent doubts and worries about one's romantic relationship. These intrusive thoughts can lead to compulsive behaviours and significant distress.

Recognising Symptoms

Obsessive Thoughts

• Doubts About Your Relationship: Constantly having persistent doubts about whether you truly love your partner, whether they love you, or whether you are right for each other.
• Comparisons: Continuously comparing your relationship to others or to idealised versions of relationships.
• Perfectionism: Obsessing over finding the "perfect" partner or relationship, leading to significant distress and anxiety.
• Unwanted Thoughts: Intrusive, distressing thoughts about your partner's physical appearance, personality, or suitability as a partner.

Common Thoughts of Anxious Sufferers

Typical Concerns

• "Do I really love my partner, or am I just convincing myself that I do?"
• "What if I don't feel 'in love' enough? Does that mean my relationship is wrong?"
• "Why do I sometimes feel attracted to other people? Does that mean I don't love my partner?"
• "Is my partner truly the right person for me?"
• "What if I’m making a huge mistake by staying in this relationship?"
• "Can I see myself with my partner for the rest of my life, or am I just settling?"
• "Is my partner attractive enough/smart enough/funny enough for me?"
• "Does my partner have the qualities I need in a life partner?"
• "Am I overlooking flaws in my partner that should be deal-breakers?"
• "Was my partner's behaviour in that situation a red flag?"
• "Did my partner's past relationships reveal something problematic about them?"
• "Am I misinterpreting past events to justify staying in the relationship?"
• "Do other people in happy relationships have these kinds of doubts?"
• "How can I be sure my partner loves me as much as I love them?"
• "Is it normal to have these kinds of obsessive thoughts about my relationship?"

Compulsive Behaviours

Reassurance Seeking

• Frequent Reassurance: Constantly asking your partner or others for reassurance about the relationship, or checking for signs that everything is okay.

Mental Reviewing

• Reviewing Past Interactions: Repeatedly reviewing past interactions, conversations, or moments to reassure yourself that the relationship is good.

Testing Feelings

• Testing Feelings: Continuously testing your feelings for your partner by comparing your emotional responses to different situations or imagining life without them.

Avoidance

• Avoiding Triggers: Avoiding situations, people, or activities that trigger doubts or anxiety about your relationship.

Emotional Symptoms

Anxiety and Distress

• High Levels of Anxiety: Experiencing high levels of anxiety and emotional distress related to your relationship doubts and compulsions.
• Guilt and Shame: Feeling guilty or ashamed about your doubts, thoughts, or behaviours.
• Depression: Developing symptoms of depression as a result of ongoing anxiety and distress about your relationship.

Impact on Daily Life

Relationship Strain

ROCD can place significant strain on your relationship, leading to conflicts, misunderstandings, and emotional distance.

Reduced Quality of Life

The time and mental energy you spend on obsessions and compulsions can interfere with your daily activities, work, and social interactions.

My Journey and How I Can Help You

Through my personal journey, I developed a structured approach to overcoming anxiety disorders. This method is based on real experiences and results, not just theory.

Steps to Overcoming Relationship OCD

Embrace New Behaviours

To escape the anxiety trap, you must learn new, non-anxious behaviours. This involves reprogramming your subconscious mind through consistent, conscious effort. It's not easy, but it's possible with the right guidance and support.

Practice Diversion Techniques

One effective strategy is diversion—engaging in activities that shift your focus away from anxiety. This helps your subconscious mind adopt new, positive behaviours, reducing anxiety over time. Engaging in hobbies and staying active can significantly help in managing ROCD.

Finding Support and Staying Committed

Remember, recovery is a journey, not a destination. Surround yourself with supportive people and resources.

Why You Can Trust My Approach

I understand the overwhelming grip of OCD firsthand. I battled severe anxiety disorders for over two decades, and through my recovery, I developed a unique approach that has since helped millions of people worldwide.

Credentials and Experience:

• Pioneer in Anxiety Recovery: Since 1997, my methods have been tested and proven effective, helping countless individuals regain control of their lives.
• Author and Educator: I've authored over 200 works and have been featured by Hay House Publishing as the world’s leading anxiety recovery expert.
• Global Reach: My programmes have reached people in more than 60 countries, with personal coaching and residential retreats that provide immersive recovery experiences.
• Media Presence: I’ve been a keynote speaker, TV presenter, and guest on numerous radio shows and podcasts, spreading awareness and effective solutions for anxiety disorders.
• Recovery Ambassadors: Many of my high-profile clients, such as Jemma Kidd, Plum Sykes, and Jodie Kidd, have become Recovery Ambassadors, sharing their recovery journeys to inspire others.

Conclusion

If these experiences resonate with you, it’s important to recognise that you might be suffering from Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD). The Anxiety Project recovery methodology creates fast, simple and lifelong, drug-free, anxiety disorder recovery. It is the world's first and only accredited, evidence-based, psycho-educational recovery treatment.